Realities of Life
I can’t see the end for the beginning, not getting there fast enough, in some instances, and I’m not sure if I want to. I don’t know the end, and I don’t want to know it, as I’m continuously accomplishment-driven, always looking for something to do, to complete, waiting for the next step to take, to complete, but yet here I set wondering what that end might be. Yes, one of these days I’m going to die, the ultimate end, there’s no assurances as to when or how, maybe fifty years, maybe fifty days, but until then, I look for completions. The ending of one thing segueing into the beginning of another, and repetition of the cycle until such time that my end comes.
Am I doing whatever I can to be good at what I am?
I ask myself where I am going and how I am doing with all the important issues in my life:
- Am I a good human being?
- Am I a good father?
- Am I a good husband?
- Am I a good friend?
- Am I a good writer?
- Am I a productive worker?
These are not the questions of self-doubt, but of reality checking. I need to be good at these things as I’ve purposefully chosen to take on these responsibilities. There are good days where I succeed on all fronts and there are days when I fail on them, as well. It’s the nature of the beast, the nature of being a human being. I will never have days that are perfect, but I can strive for my definition of perfection. Mine won’t be yours and yours won’t be mine.
Being who I am and not what people expect me to be
That’s the great thing about individuality. My definition of success has to be met by none other than me. Your definition of success does not have to be met by anyone other than you. I think too many people get caught up using other people’s or society’s definition of success as a barometer for their own and are constantly met with failures. Although we can learn from failures, the lessons we take away helpful for our growth but painful to our psyche, they can sometimes be detrimental by setting our definition of success by the success of others. This will always put us in a place and situation where we can never achieve our true success.
Setting my goals realistically
If I believe myself successful by writing 1,000 words per day, and I write 999, then by definition, I was not successful. However, if I set a goal to write for thirty minutes per day and write 999 words, then I was successful. Our perception, the only one that matters can be changed by how we determine our definition of success. Looking at it from a different perspective, if I set a goal of writing 1000 words per day, and on any given day, I write 1200 words, have I met my goal of success for that day or did I undervalue my capabilities, my potential. Do I then change my goal to write 1200 words per day, knowing that I have done it once? I could change my goal, knowing I had met it and deal with the days that I don’t make it, but it is a step toward improvement – becoming a better writer.
I look at where I want to be concerning my writing. Will I be a published author? Published? What does that mean? If by definition, having an agent, going through a conventional publisher, and seeing my books on store shelves means published, then yes. That’s what I am seeking. Seeking? No. I am working toward that goal. It’s not just a thought or a wish. It is a defined goal, knowing full well there will be obstacles, which hopefully, I have taken into account in the realistic planning of that goal and execution of the steps required to reach it.
There are days when I do nothing except stare at the screen, wondering if the words will come, and there are others, where the words flow like a rampaging river, pouring from my soul onto the pages. I can never determine how each day will be when I first wake up, watching it transmogrify into something of its own making. I plan, I prepare, but inevitably there is always something that changes my well-laid plans into something other than what I intended to be in the perfect “this is how my day’s going to be” scenario in my brain. With a full-time job, family, and friends, there are always modifiers that can suddenly appear in my life schedule, but I do my best to take those into account.
Knowing that change will happen and accepting that it will happen are two different things. I have learned to identify those obstacles what will produce change and have learned to accept the changes that occur on a daily basis as part of life. Change, although frustrating at times when you have plans or a schedule you’d like to keep, can make life interesting and fun. Other times, change can make you want to pull your hair out. I don’t have an excessive amount remaining, so I try to avoid that scenario.
What-ifs are a part of life and I’ve gotten pretty good at reacting to changes, whether on the macro or micro level, in order to have a successful day of some sorts. It’s not always perfect, but if I expected perfection, no changes to the schedule I have planned, it would drive me completely bonkers. Learning how to react to change without it shutting you down is important for growth. There is no magic elixir, no 100% foolproof plan. You have to find what works for you. Being able to successfully adapt to changes thrown at you, will reduce your stress, improve your goal accomplishment, and allow you to prosper in every aspect of life. Don’t be afraid to embrace change, as it’s as much a part of your life as the goals and schedules you set.